Stages of vacuuming (by Harribunny):
1. Pretend to be snoozing peacefully so that your human thinks this might be a good opportunity to clean the place up a bit.
2. As soon as the vacuum cleaner appears, abandon all pretence and run over to investigate thoroughly and attempt to chew every single part of it.
3. Once it is turned on and you realise that your carefully distributed bits of hay and fur are being removed, do your best to thwart the attempt by:
a) lunging and growling at the vacuum;
b) doing laps around the room making sure you run through areas in which hay and fur have collected to maximise distribution;
c) trying to sink your teeth into the power cord every time your human's back is turned.
4. If this is unsuccessful, it is always worth trying the classic sulk. Choose your spot carefully (the middle of the room works well) and refuse to move. A low growl will generally prevent your human insisting that you move.
5. If you prefer a more active approach, try to appear suddenly (I like coming from underneath the sofa for ultimate stealth) and, whenever possible, combine with getting an ear or tail close enough to the suction to make a fuss about - this will induce maximum feelings of guilt in your human.
6. At some stage, hop past the back of the vacuum cleaner and realise that there's air blowing from it. Pause to enjoy the sensation of your fur rippling in the wind.
7. Remember that you are outraged about the whole situation and try to teach your human a lesson by dashing between their legs just as they pick up the vacuum to put it away.
8. Return to snoozing and try to hide the fact that you are plotting your revenge in the form of complete destruction of the tidiness of the room within the next hour.
1. Pretend to be snoozing peacefully so that your human thinks this might be a good opportunity to clean the place up a bit.
2. As soon as the vacuum cleaner appears, abandon all pretence and run over to investigate thoroughly and attempt to chew every single part of it.
3. Once it is turned on and you realise that your carefully distributed bits of hay and fur are being removed, do your best to thwart the attempt by:
a) lunging and growling at the vacuum;
b) doing laps around the room making sure you run through areas in which hay and fur have collected to maximise distribution;
c) trying to sink your teeth into the power cord every time your human's back is turned.
4. If this is unsuccessful, it is always worth trying the classic sulk. Choose your spot carefully (the middle of the room works well) and refuse to move. A low growl will generally prevent your human insisting that you move.
5. If you prefer a more active approach, try to appear suddenly (I like coming from underneath the sofa for ultimate stealth) and, whenever possible, combine with getting an ear or tail close enough to the suction to make a fuss about - this will induce maximum feelings of guilt in your human.
6. At some stage, hop past the back of the vacuum cleaner and realise that there's air blowing from it. Pause to enjoy the sensation of your fur rippling in the wind.
7. Remember that you are outraged about the whole situation and try to teach your human a lesson by dashing between their legs just as they pick up the vacuum to put it away.
8. Return to snoozing and try to hide the fact that you are plotting your revenge in the form of complete destruction of the tidiness of the room within the next hour.